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I'm looking for etiquette lessons for my 17 yr old daughter ... seriously. After having seen "The Princess Diaries" I searched the internet trying to find someone or some place that gives lessons on proper etiquette for young girls, but couldn't find anything.
I'm having a tough time breaking her of poor habits and would like her tutored in things like: proper etiquette while dining at a black-tie affair; proper posture and gait (walking); proper greeting in a formal setting; etc.
Either group or individual sessions are acceptable at my home or at tutor's location. Cost is a consideration, so a group lesson at the tutor's location would be best since it would be more cost effective.
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Dear A. Armonk:
Thank you very much for your question concerning your 17 year old daughter. Ironically, my mentor and colleague, Ms. Dorothea Johnson, was the etiquette consultant for the movie,"The Princess Diaries". Ms. Johnson is the Chairwoman and Founder of The Protocol School of Washington, where I received my certifications several years ago. I too, have a great fondness for the movie for many reasons.
"The Princess Diaries" has a tremendous amount of realistic issues most young women face either in high school or college. For example, peer pressure, friendship, character development, and the way women view themselves are ongoing struggles for most 17 year old young women.
I recently watched one of my neighbor's daughters get ready for an evening out. It was probably a two-hour process. When she was ready to leave, she must have asked us ten times, "Do I look OK?", and I saw that she really meant the question. I reminded her that she was a young lady who works, goes to college and helps out around the house. Additionally, I told her how much I trusted her as a person with values and character and as woman to make good decisions. No matter how many times you tell a person how beautiful or successful they are, they must feel the power of their presence and they need to feel confident in all situations. This is where etiquette comes into play.
I teach young women that the word etiquette is not a ten inch book of rules and regulations. Etiquette is a necessary tool to manage life's many difficult situations. It is an invisible accessory that everyone notices.
I have a few suggestions for you regarding the "poor habits" you are seeing.
1. Dining etiquette should be used at home, at a black tie event and out at the local hang out. Plan a casual dinner party for your daughter's friends and plan the menu together. Send out invitations and see how many people RSVP. Let her get involved with the follow-up. If she wants pizza, fine- You can still use beautiful dishes and napkins. After the party, talk with her and get her view on she felt being a hostess.
2. When you are at home, set your own table and address inappropriate behavior privately. It is never helpful to make anyone feel uncomfortable in a social situation.
3. Ask your daughter if she knows how to introduce herself and if she is comfortable making small talk at the black tie events.
Here are some tips for you to suggest to her:
*Make eye contact with the person you are meeting.
*Shake hands with everyone you meet.
*Introduce yourself by saying, "Hello, my name is (your daughter's name)."
*Always end a conversation with a handshake and say, "It is a pleasure to meet you."
It is my opinion that a group of friends works well together for etiquette training. All of my classes are customized for the particular needs of the individual or group. I would be pleased to talk with you and your daughter about the possibility of etiquette training.
Thank you again for your question.
Respectfully submitted,
Nancy Doyle Gorczynski
Director and Founder
The Etiquette and Protocol School
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Private training for children and adults in etiquette/social/business/ dining skills is provided by Etiquette Outreach (212) 977-6804. TO BOOK YOUR PRIVATE SESSION, PLEASE VISIT: WWW.ETIQUETTEOUTREACH.COM or email our instructors at info@etiquetteoutreach.com
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Dear Armonk Parent,
I am happy to let you know through Zoomnia, you have successfully found etiquette instruction for your 17 year-old-daughter! Here at The Etiquette School of New York, we teach lessons of social graces and table manners for the 21st century to students in the 2nd through 12th grades.
We are the leader for children's etiquette instruction in the state of New York and serve the surrounding region teaching class seminars to children in Westchester County, Manhattan, Connecticut, New Jersey, Vermont, and Massachusetts. For students in our immediate area our classes take place in an old estate house just outside the city limits of Saratoga Springs. It is an elegant, yet relaxing environment with engaging classes that all children enjoy. Our classes are limited to 10 students per class. We keep our classes small on purpose to insure each student gets the individual attention they deserve. Private and semi-private lessons are available. Already established group lessons are also available. (Girl Scouts, Boys Scouts, School Sport teams, Church Youth groups, etc.)
Each session we teach is comprised of 6 lessons. Each lesson takes place once a week and is one hour long with the exception of our 5th lesson which happens to be our "final exam." For our Final Exam several distinguished guests are invited to join us as students meet at an elegant Saratoga Springs restaurant for a full 5-course dinner where they are required to dine Continental Style. They must also be able to observe the rules of Silent Service and they must be able to interact and keep our guests politely engaged throughout the meal. Students LOVE this lesson best!
Please allow me to direct you to our website: www.EtiquetteSchoolofNewYork.com where descriptions of our age appropriate classes, schedules, and prices are available. In today's world of rush, shortcuts, abruptness and casual everything, it is the polish of self-presentation, bearing and the knowledge of social graces that will help you to stand out with your friends and from your competition. by knowing the rules of polite society any child, teen or adult can be comfortable in any situation he may find himself whether in the professional arena or enjoying family and friends.
If you find you have further questions you can contact us by clicking on the appropriate link on our website, or by calling us direct at 518.893.0066.
In closing, please allow me to compliment you on caring about your daughter and her future. By providing her self-presentation lessons now, you are in reality providing her the priceless (and timeless) gift of self-confidence for her future.
Sincerely,
Lorna Dupouy
President
The Etiquette School of New York
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